Fear is sneaky. It does not always look like panic. Sometimes it looks like procrastination. Sometimes it sounds like, “I’ll paint tomorrow.” Sometimes it convinces me that I need to wait until I am in the right mood, have enough time or feel more confident.
I know this because I have listened to it.
There have been stretches when I wanted to paint but could not make myself begin. I would look at the canvas and imagine all the ways I might ruin it. Which is funny when I think about it. It is canvas and paint. The stakes could not possibly be lower. Yet fear does not always care about logic.
Starting over in life has its own version of that fear. What if I made the wrong decision? What if the future is harder than I expect? What if I fail?
Then I remember how many times I have stood in front of a painting halfway through and thought it was ruined, only to keep working and discover that it was not finished yet.
Maybe life deserves the same patience.
Fear can have a voice. I just don’t want to give it the brush.
