For many years, purpose was easy to define. I had a job to do. People depended on me. My children needed me. There were responsibilities that gave every day a structure and a reason.
As I get closer to the point where retirement becomes more than a distant idea, I think about what purpose will look like when work no longer takes up such a large part of my life. I know myself well enough to know I will not be content doing nothing. But I also do not want to take something I love and turn it into another obligation.
That is where painting gets complicated.
I want to teach. I want to share the Bob Ross technique. I want other people to experience the surprise of creating something they did not think they could create. But I also want to protect the part of painting that belongs only to me…the part that lets me disappear into a canvas for a few hours without deadlines or expectations.
Maybe purpose doesn’t have to mean productivity. Maybe my purpose can be sharing something that brings me joy without measuring it by how much I accomplish.
I spent a lot of years defining myself by what I did for other people. Painting is teaching me that who I am matters too. Perhaps the next chapter will be about finding a way to bring those two things together.
